Brian Moorhouse

Thank you for all your messages of support. Brian passed away peacefully in my arms surrounded with close family at his bedside on July 15th at 21:32 here in England.

It feels so strange to write about Brian in the past tense, so please bear with me if I have made any mistakes along the way in my following notes.

Brian was diagnosed of a brain tumor at the end of January, just 2 days after we had returned from our long winter vacation in the Indian Ocean. He was just very tired and had to sleep most the time. We first thought it was jet-lag, but I also had noticed that he was having problem with his dexterity on the left hand side.  A minor stroke has been ruled out by the doctors due to this man was running 7Km everyday and all his organs had been shown to be functioning well. MRI and CAT scans had indicated the worst type of brain tumor one can get — Glioblastoma grade 4. Brian had been under the best care of the oncology multi-disciplinary team of Addenbrookes Hospital in Cambridge. It is the best in Europe and they are proud of it.

Brian had an amazing trip to Sweden and Finland for a week in May. With the help of Kennon humping our suitcases and pushing the wheelchair, we manged to travel from dot to dot, by cars, planes even trains and attended the Finlandia 2017 stamp exhibition in Tampere and he was really happy, he especially enjoyed eating Reindeer meat again!

The icing of the cake was that his Early Classic Haiti stamp collection won a Large Gold medal.

Brian came through the first phase of treatments like a hero for radiotherapy and chemotherapy on an accelerated program by taking both in just half the time but double in dose. He had very minimal side effects apart from being very tired and weak. The steroids for controlling the swelling around the tumor had taken a lot of his strength away from his legs as well. His oncologists and the Macmillan Cancer nurse have said that they have never, ever seen any patient having taken all these treatments and still able to fly away and travel like Brian did.

Each day, Brian would say “Another new morning, another new day!” and “I am still here and I am still smiling!”

Brian continued his routine 45 minute daily walk to keep fit and keep fighting. He kept saying to himself, “Fight, fight, fight! One step in front of the other, stopping is not an option!”. Yet his circuit was completed a bit slower each day – from running to fast walking, to just walking, then shuffling and finally in snail pace, but he kept going even up to the start of second phase of chemotherapy in early June. He also did a lot of walking during the trip at the exhibition hall in Tampere and on the Aaland Islands, a new countable destination for us. We now have traveled to 267 countries and territories. Our motto:  “See this world before the next”!

The second phase of chemotherapy started three days after coming home from Finland on May 31st. This phase comprised 5 days of drugs each month on a 6 months cycle. Unfortunately, he did not take it so well this time. His brain tumor had grown with a lot of swelling around it. It had affected his whole wellbeing, including not wanting to eat or drink.

Brian was in hospital from June 7th to June 14th after his first five day course of the second phase of chemotherapy. 

He was home for 4 days but I could no longer safely care for Brian with his increased care needs after having done it single-handedly on my own 24/7 for the five months since the end of January.

We’ve had very good carers and night nurse support coming to the house during that 4 days at home, but Brian was at a point that he needed more care in terms of 24/7 medication evaluation, adjustment and on hand physician attention.

From June 19th, Brian had been admitted to the symptoms control unit in the beautiful manor house that is now the Sue Ryder Thorpe Hall Hospice. Lots of beautiful flowers and water fountains were just outside our own suite through French doors. The staff, nurses and doctors had been most caring and kind.

Under the 24/7 “One to One” care at the Sue Ryder Thorpe Hall hospice, from that point on, I was supposed to step away and be a wife again, but I have found it hard to let go and still wanted to stay with Brian most of the day, I felt I “had to” make sure to feed him every meal so that he will eat more, etc… I just wanted to embrace every  precious living moment with Brian.

Brian never had any pain during this illness. The brain tumor had not affected his thinking as such.  He said “1844” when I asked him what was the year of the INCLINADO of Brazil! On the 4th of July, I told him that I had put the flag up. He then duly reminded me not to forget to take it down before sun down. His biggest problem had been the agitation which had developed about 5 weeks ago. It caused him to move non-stop, incessantly wanting to get up out of bed and then immediately lie down – this went on all day and all night long for the whole 5 weeks. It seemed as if his brain kept telling him the wrong messages due to the pressure on certain nerves.

The doctors at the hospice began to suspect that he was having pain but that his brain did not recognize it as such. His agitation could have been an expression of his pain. The only way to let him relax was to give him medication to sleep, but the doctors did not want to knock him out all the time so that he could stay awake during part of the day. Unfortunately, this non stop moving around up and down and in and out of bed continued through every waking moment for Brian. It was like sleep deprivation for him, he was exhausted – and I was exhausted.

What else could I possibly have sourced to help more?

Medical Marijuana (Cannabis Oil) for cancer in the USA, Spain or the Netherlands.

Brian has declined such option as it is still unlicensed and illegal in Great Britain.